So, how am I treated in public ?? Well, there are a variety of reactions that have occurred, from no reaction whatsoever, to pretty bad, and if I am honest, along with the whole range in between. Sometimes reactions can be great and inclusive, sometimes, and thankfully very rarely, they are exclusive and rude and really embarrassing.
Let me start with the simple fact that it can be random and out of the blue, and is always unpredictable. How it should be is simple, there should be no reaction at all, I and every other T-girl, should be able to just go about our business being treated the same way as any other person on this planet. I am not in the habit of drawing attention to myself in public, to be clear, I wouldn’t go out shopping on a weekend or to a coffee shop dressed for a night out clubbing. Like almost all other girls I have day clothes and going out clothes, so it’s not like I can’t choose appropriate clothing for any eventuality at any time of year. Why do I include this little detail? Well, because I just want to be accepted and treated the same way any other girl would expect. I don’t dress like a stereotypical drag queen, in a bright sequined dress slit up to the thigh, with huge hair and exaggerated make up, because I am not a drag queen, and I don’t crave the attention that getting up on stage would duly give. A quote taken from Article 8 of the International Human Rights Act States: Right to a Private and Family Life. The Concept of a private life encompasses the importance of personal dignity and autonomy and the interaction a person has with others, both in private or in public. So to sum this up, you, me and the remaining population of the world hold an absolute right to be treated with autonomy and dignity, and nothing about how we choose to live our lives, as long as we are not acting illegally, is allowed to be impacting on this. So, how have I been treated? In general it’s mostly been good. I have tended to go places where I feel I should be ok, and have avoided places where I think there could be a problem. However, it’s not possible to hide away in safe zones all the time and there will always be unknown quantities. The most common occurrence that has exclusively been announced by male staff working in the service sector is calling me ‘Sir’. I mean here I am with long hair and makeup, wearing a skirt, top and boots. Yes, I’m sure you worked out that that I was born male, but please address me as I present at the time, I don’t need extra attention being drawn to me. With one exception that you will read about further down, this has otherwise never happened with female staff, they have always been polite and addressed me as I present. On one occasion, I went on a girls night out with some friends and we traveled by train to get to the venue, much cheaper than a taxi, but does allow for others to interfere with your journey, in this instance, a group of pissed up lads getting on the train. I was the subject of some pretty awful and loud conversation for them, they thought they were being funny, they weren’t, luckily they were only there between 2 stops and then they got off. But, their comments made me want to curl up and hide in a corner, it was the support from my friends and some other passengers that got me through, and still a great night was had. The absolute worst treatment I received was about 5 years ago in a well-known department store when I was told to go to a different floor and use the men’s changing rooms to try on a dress, apparently store policy was that, and I quote this as it was aid to me, “people like me must use the facilities appropriate to our sex assigned at birth, just because I think I am a girl doesn’t entitle me to be treated like one”. This was said in front of the other girls queuing with me, and was totally humiliating, I didn’t know how to react and simply handed the store assistant the dress and left. This destroyed my confidence for a while, and made me feel on edge and paranoid for months afterwards, this is the kind of treatment that really does damage and has deep rooted effects on some Trans-people, it’s also something that only impacts people in the Trans-Community, after all no one would dare single out a gay man or woman at tell them to use a different changing room, and tell me if I am wrong but each changing room has a lockable door on it, and more often these days they are communal anyway. I am sure she doesn’t work there anymore, but it’s unlikely I will ever buy a clothing item from there in the future. However, it’s rare that this type of thing occurs and I have also had great experiences in a different (Higher Class) department store with really helpful staff on makeup counters. On a few occasions staff in one of the UK’s biggest high street clothing stores offering to go and get an item in a different size because it didn’t fit right, and I have never encountered any negative reaction in any pub, club or restaurant I have been to. Generally, I find that when people speak to me, they are polite and treat me well. If you want to know more about me, then just ask, I am a chatterbox, especially after a few drinks. I love to meet people and unlike the flip side of me, who is military groomed and highly reserved, I will chat to anyone. This has only been a problem once when a guy was hitting on me at a bar, with my wife sat with me, he was cringe worthy, and just would not take the hint, in the end I had to leave, my wife was almost falling off her stool laughing. He just kept stroking my back and trying to kiss my neck, whilst plying both of us with drinks and telling us that he was gay, but a girl like me could definitely turn him straight again. I’m not exactly sure what he thought he may gain from this, but the amusement for me wore off quickly and he became a little annoying in his harassing of me. So, it’s not good being targeted as different and labelled, its great being accepted and treated like everyone else, and whilst it is very flattering being hit on by guys and girls, I mean who doesn’t like being complemented, the line has to be drawn, when it becomes harassment. No means no, and everyone is entitled to both their own space, privacy and to be treated politely and with dignity when they want it. Don’t forget to follow me on: Facebook www.facebook.com/beingsophie Twitter www.twitter.com/@sophietgirl
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AuthorHi, I'm Sophie. I hope you enjoy reading my blog. Please leave some comments on what you think of my blog x Archives
March 2022
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